Life Hurts, Love Heals
by thatoneanimegirl2202
Summary: Shinji and Hiyori have a long road of recovery, both physically and mentally, after their battle with Aizen. Each has a lot to reflect on but they soon find help in one another. This story takes place between the battle with Aizen and the new Squad 5 Captain story arcs. HiyoriXShinji
1. Ch 1 - Your Eyes Are Windows

**Title:** Life Hurts, Love Heals

 **Author:** thatoneanimegirl2202

 **Characters/Pairing:** Shinji Hirako and Hiyori Sarugaki

 **Type:** Chapter 1 in a collection of mini-stories (InProgress)

 **Genre:** Romance/Reflection

 **Word Count:** 820

 **Rating:** K+ (Some content may not be suitable for young children)

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach, and it's entirety, belongs to Kubo Tite

 **Summary:** Hiyori wishes Shinji could see himself through her eyes while she learns that letting go of the past isn't easy, but saying goodbye is even harder. HiyoriXShinji

 **Created on:** 09/08/16

 **Completed on:** 09/09/16

 **Chapter Last Revised On:** 09/12/16

 _Ok, so this is my very first time trying my hand at fanfiction, so go easy on me._

 ** _& FYI, the italics are their inner thoughts (what they don't say out loud). Enjoy!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 1 - Your Eyes are Windows**

 _Look into my eyes and hear what I'm not saying, for my eyes speak louder than my voice ever will_ _-Anonymous_

 _*drip* *drip* *drip*_

Where am I? What's this feeling? I'm cold, my clothes feel damp, there's a soft pressure against my back, everything's dark…am I asleep? Dreaming?

 _"HIYORI!_

No. I remember it all now; the anger, the rage, the bastard in white taunting us. He was goading our seething desire for revenge, trying to see which of us would crack first.

Of course it would be my temper that won out. Patience never was my forte…plus I had envisioned this day for the past hundred something years, going over all the possible ways I could make that monster suffer for what he put us through. But things never do go exactly as planned, do they? I will my eyes to open, only slightly, to take in what is going on around me. I'm immediately met by pair of light-chocolate colored eyes. As they bear down into my own, they seem desperate, as if they're pleading for something. I've seen this look before, only once, a hundred years ago.

I hated that look. Guilt didn't compliment his features. Unfortunately, he has held the same look for the past century, ever since Aizen betrayed us. I never blamed Shinji for what happened to me, none of us did, yet he still burdened himself with the weight of everything since that night. He took on the role as the unspoken leader of our little group of misfits. By doing so, he claimed responsibility for all the bad things (which there were plenty of) to come our way since departing from the Seretei. We all wished he would not take it all on himself, but rather, let us help lighten the weight that was crushing him. He might've been good at putting on a façade, but we all knew better. We could see straight through him, to his feelings, which he never spoke aloud.

As we held each other's gaze, my mind rapidly compiled every memory I had with the blonde ex-captain. I wish he was able to see himself through my eyes, the memories I acquired over the years. He would probably be surprised by what a certain angry, tempered, lieutenant thought of him— _strong, brave, caring, loyal, protective_ —but he only saw himself through his own eyes, which betrayed him, making him question and doubt his worth. In his eyes he was solely to blame for our "deaths"; in his eyes he is the one who allowed us to be deceived, get hurt, and be cast aside; in his eyes he was the reason we were no longer able to live our lives fully, as we used to.

His eyes. Those brown pools of intensity. They have for what seemed like a very long time, been in contrast. For being so beautiful and holding so much depth, they still were plagued with that damn guilt and shame. As I looked into those eyes for what could be the last time, I saw something else—something new. Regret.

If I had the strength, I would've slapped that stupid look right off his face. This was not his fault. How could he not see that? That idiot! Why did he always have to shoulder everything himself?

 _Baka_.

But my strength was all but gone. Seeping, slowly leaving my body, it was seemingly attaching itself to every drop of blood that currently stained my shirt, Shinji's hand, and the ground beneath us.

 _I can't let this haunt him for another century. I can't let him bear the weight of my poor decision._

"S-sorry…Shinji," I struggled to get the words out. Speaking was getting to be more difficult. "I-I couldn't hold back anymore."

 _No, don't blame yourself. I acted impetuously. I was stupid. This was my fault._

I wanted to rid the earth of that Aizen-dipshit, but I let my anger cloud my judgment and it got the best of me. I just wanted to see you genuinely smile again. Replace that guilt that your eyes housed, with the radiant gleam that used to reside there. I just wanted to erase those years of remorse that you couldn't let go of.

 _C'mon now Shinji, work with me here. I can't get all these words out. Can't you read it in my eyes? Can't you see how I feel? Don't be stupid. Don't put this on yourself…_

As I started losing consciousness, I vaguely hear him say something. I was no longer able to make out the words he was saying, but the sense of urgency and heartache they held was overpowering. At this point I am only able to stare onward, in a daze. I feel his hold on me tighten, faintly breathing in his scent, I turn my stare to him. We share one last wordless exchange before I go…those damn eyes.

 _Goodbye, Shinji._

* * *

So I decided to write about these two bc I absolutely love this pairing. Personally, I feel that they didn't get the attention they deserved (or that I desired). Since the Bleach series is no done and over with, I feel that it left a large, varying, unanswered series of questions in my mind, one of which involving ShiYori. So since I will never get my answers, I decided to make some of my own.

This is the first chapter in what I plan on being a good bit of chapters to help me reach closure, or at least this is my plan (as long as I can keep my creative mind working). This chapter takes place right after her lunging at Aizen and getting struck by Gin. I feel that if Hiyori could've have spoken, she would've had a lot more to say to Shinji. I mean hell, she had known him for how long? There is a lot of history between them both, and despite their squabbles, they care a lot about each other (obviously). I probably would have had her say more, but she wasn't really alert for very long after being sliced. Plus I'll probably further reflect her thoughts later in another chapter, not sure...we will see. I'm trying to get their monologues as close to their character in the show/manga as I can. It's not going to be perfect, but I want to incorporate their accents best I can. I feel that with their inner monologues (what they're thinking), they don't have an accent bc it's in their head so I decided to leave those normal. Also, I know Hiyori goes back to her violent-loving nature later on in the manga (esp towards Shinji), but I feel like while she is almost dying, recovering, etc. that she acts SLIGHTLY different (now she will still smack him for being an idiot). I just think this whole ordeal might've altered her, Shinji, and the other Visoreds point of view slightly. Like I said they'll go back to normal eventually, but this is a special case.

I'm still learning how to use this website and hope I am uploading correctly. Help and tips is appreciated.

Lastly, I hope you enjoy my mind ramblings and I appreciate all reviews/criticisms….it helps to improve and encourage my writing. I would honestly like to hear feedback to see what I need to improve on, what you think of their personalities, etc. Thank you all for reading!


	2. Ch 2 - Your Dreams are a Doorway

**Title:** Life Hurts, Love Heals

 **Author:** thatoneanimegirl2202

 **Characters/Pairing:** Shinji Hirako and Hiyori Sarugaki

 **Type:** Chapter 2 in a collection of mini-stories (InProgress)

 **Genre:** Romance/Reflection

 **Word Count:** 1820

 **Rating:** K+ (Some content may not be suitable for young children)

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach, and it's entirety, belongs to Kubo Tite

 **Summary:** Shinji is blaming himself for the events that happened with Aizen. Not being able to forgive himself, he searches for a happy place to go to. HiyoriXShinji

 **Created on:** 09/09/16

 **Completed on:** 09/09/16

 **Chapter Last Revised On:** 09/12/16

Ok, so this is my very first time trying my hand at fanfiction, so go easy on me.

 ** _FYI, the italics are their inner thoughts (what they don't say out loud). Enjoy!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 2 - Your Dreams are a Doorway**

 _Dreams are as simple or as complicated as the dreamer is himself, only they are always a little bit ahead of the dreamer's consciousness. -Brian Herbert_

He jolted awake, drenched in sweat. His heart beating so fast it felt as if it was about to jump out of his chest.

"Get a hold of yer self, damnit," he muttered out loud as he hoisted himself up from the mattress, attempting to catch his breath.

 _It was only a dream._

Memory is a more suited word to describe the haunting vision that has haunted Shinji the past few weeks.

After a few minutes, finally getting his breathing to return to a somewhat regular pattern, he pulled his knees up and rested his head against them. Blinking absentmindedly, he stared down into his lap.

It had been 1 month since Aizen finally got what he deserved.

 _An entire century overdue for that fucker, and then some._

Shinji detested that man. Or as he started calling him, _that monster._

For his many grievous acts of maliciousness, the Central 46 determined that he was guilty, sentencing him to the eighth and lowest level of the underground prison for the next 20,000 years.

"At least they actually got the RIGHT guy this time, those dumbasses," Shinji mumbled, disappointed at their ruling. In his opinion, it was too generous of a verdict. Aizen deserved much worse.

 _Hell, death would've even been lenient! He was a destroyer of lives! He deceived us, attacked us, attempted to murder us, and in the end almost succeeded in killing Hiyo….._

At the thought of her name, he sat straight up as flashbacks of red tinted images suddenly began parading through his mind. They transitioned, frame by frame, making him once again relive those horrid memories.

"Hiyori…." he breathed.

As much as he wishes he could, he wasn't able to forget that day. Hiyori had almost died. Death literally about to kick down the door to claim her himself.

The recollection of how she looked as he held her in his arms— _pale, labored-breathing, unmoving, weak_ —seemed to play on a constant loop in his head, every day since Gin had sliced her through.

 _How could I not have prevented it?_ _Why didn't I do more? Why couldn't I be more? More aware? Faster? Stronger? Why didn't I think more strategically?_

He continued to stare off, his thoughts betraying him.

 _What good am I? I was supposed to protect them. Protect her._

Shortly after their forced hollowfication had taken place, he knew a day would eventually come when their and Aizen's paths would eventually cross. Shinji convinced himself that when that time came, he would lay down his life for his fellow Visoreds. He hoped that, in doing so, he would be giving them their best chance at survival this time around. "I'm the one who got us in this mess and I'll be damned if anyone has to suffer again because of me. I will gladly take it all head on if I have to," he would tell himself repeatedly.

He welcomed this decision, finding solace in the thought of them finally having the lives they each deserved. He spent an entire century planning and devising the most effective strategies to help them achieve their freedom. All his logic and reasoning quickly vanished, however, the moment Hiyori snapped and brazenly threw herself towards Aizen.

The second her little feet shunpoed towards the dark haired man, Shinji's heart came to a stop. Aizen was smiling all too knowingly of what was about to unfold. Hiyori, impatient as always, barreled towards him fueled by hatred. This act of hers leaving Shinji very little time to react. He could only rush over to her, catching her limp body as it plummeted to the ground. As he peered down at her pained face, it felt as though Gin's sword had stabbed him through the chest instead. He tried to focus only on the light in her ochre eyes, which seemed to be dimming rapidly as every second passed. He did his best to hold his composure, strictly for her sake, but the large amount of blood streaming through his fingers and her wavering condition was causing him to falter despairingly. He felt as if a piece of him was dying right alongside her.

He clenched his fists at the memory of her laying there, lifeless, him not being able to do anything to help her.

 _Damn her hot-temper. Damn the Central 46. Damn Gin. Damn Aizen. Damn the Soul Society. This could have all been prevented back then if they listened to reason. Even with overwhelming proof they went too easy on him, just sweeping the whole incident under a rug, or more specifically 8 levels underground. They should've destroyed Aizen completely. Maybe I should bust through the Senkaimon and make them listen. Force them to reconsider their verdict._

He fell backwards, arms stretching to either side of the bed, and proceeded to stare at the ceiling. It was late and his thoughts were becoming laced with hatred again.

 _I need to stop thinking like that. If I allow my mind to drift towards those thoughts, I'll be no better than….HIM._

"Tch…" he exclaim a loud, the thought of his ex-lieutenant leaving a bitter tasted in his mouth.

He took a deep breath and released it, making every ligament in his body respond to his movements in attempts to relax his tensed muscles. Closing his eyes, he tried to push his mind in a different direction.

 _Mm…ok, my happy place. I just need to go to my happy place._

"Hhmph…it's too bad yer "happy place" isn't here," hissed a malicious voice.

He would recognize that vile tone anywhere. If there was anyone he hated even more than Aizen, it was this bastard.

"Go away, ya dumbass," he snapped at his black and white counterpart. "I'm not in the mood for ya." Shinji didn't like interacting with his inner hollow on the best of days, but this was the worst night to try to stir something up. He was already in a bad mood.

"Aw, what's the matter tai-chou," the hollow sneered, drawing out his master's former title longer than need be. "Are ya still mopin' about ol' what's her face?"

Shinji just kept quiet, trying to ignore his inner self, knowing that it was just a ruse to rile him up.

"Well it's yer own fault," the hollow continued, searching for a nerve to hit. "But ya already knew that, huh taichou? I'm actually surprised the lot of them made it out alive, they're so weak after all. They must take after ya, their "fearless leader"."

Shinji could feel his blood start to boil. "Shut the hell up ya hollow bastard," he seethed. "Yer pissing me off more than usual."

"Ooh, touchy," his inner self hissed, ignoring Shinji's comment. "Am I bein' too harsh? It has ta' be because I'm still upset. Ya didn't really let me have enough playtime against yer friend, Aizen. Afterall, yer stupid ta' think ya could handle him. Ya get yer strength FROM me." The hollow smirked, "What good are ya ta' anyone? You, the EX-taichou? What could ya do? Ya failed them all once again. Yer weak, a disappointment…couldn't even save one bratty, little bitch."

That was the last straw. Shinji used all the will power he could muster to silence the hollow, pushing him back into the deepest, darkest pits of his subconscious.

"Ya forgettin' yer place," Shinji said through gritted teeth. "Need me ta' remind ya of the ass-kicking I handed you last time?"'

He could hear the darkened version of himself laughing as he dissolved back into nothingness.

"Maybe I should've taken my frustration out on him. Probably could've gotten rid of him for good," Shinji contemplated. "I really hate that fake, wannabe-Shinigami asshole."

Whatever he was feeling before the unfortunate interaction with his counterpart, was now ten times worse.

 _I hate that he's right even more._

Sleep was out of the question now. Even if he laid back down, he was too worked up to just relax and pass back out.

He ran his hand through his hair, letting out a deep sigh as he stood and turned towards the other side of his room. The wooden floor felt cold against his bare feet, as he reached his destination. He leaned forward against the desk, noticing the picture of their group's Christmas party last year. They all looked so happy, he couldn't help but give a small grin. He glanced at all the faces smiling back at him, but his face fell as his eyes came across Hiyori.

 _What good am I?_

Straightening up, he forced his eyes away from the picture, unworthy to hold her gaze any longer. He reached his hand out towards what he came over for in the first place. Grasping the glass container of brown liquid, he twisted the lid off, wanting nothing more than banish his destructive thoughts from his mind. He proceeded to take a drink straight from the bottle, staring straight ahead into the gold-rimmed mirror hanging above the desk. He continued to eye the reflection, noticing his disheveled appearance. His hair was a stringy mess from being ignored, his eyes darkened with circles from many nights of restless sleep, his lips turned down into a set scowl from not having a single smile pass across his face. Usually he was meticulous with his primping and even if it required faking it, he'd display the most dazzling smile he could manage. But for the past week nothing really mattered much to him. He had no desire go anywhere in the land of the living, talk to anyone, or do anything outside of his confines of his room.

 _"What good are ya ta' anyone? You, the EX-taichou? What could ya do? Ya failed them all once again. Yer weak, a disappointment…"_ His earlier exchange with his hollow bellowed in his head.

"It should've been you," he said to his reflection in the mirror. He turned around, disgusted with himself, and took another long sip from the bottle.

He stumbled back in the direction of his bed, bottle still in hand, feeling slightly affected by the alcohol. His pajama pants dragged the floor with every step that he took. Once he reached the bed, he sat down on the edge and took one last swig to finish of the bitter liquid.

He fell backwards once again, sprawling across the mattress.

 _Well that hollowfied bastard had a point about one thing. My happy place isn't here. She's laying in Squad 4 recovering._ He chuckled at the idea of actually agreeing with that idiot.

He dropped the bottle on the floor and haphazardly draped his blanket across his bare chest, shutting his eyes and letting the buzz overcome his senses.

 _Come back, Hiyori. Please, just come back home. To me._

* * *

This is chapter two of the mini-series, following the first chapter _Your Eyes are Windows_. It is about double the word count as the first part, mostly bc I kept getting distracted and having to re-write to make it suitable for my likes. I feel that Shinji holds in a lot of guilt over all that has happened. And honestly I believe the recovery of Hiyori put him in a dark place, leaving him to blame himself. I mean if you look at the face he made when Unohana finished healing her, it crushes the soul...it's heart breaking. I would upload it but I don't know how. I'll probably start working on chapter 3 at some point, maybe this weekend, who knows.

Lastly, I hope you enjoy my mind ramblings and I appreciate all reviews/criticisms….it helps to improve and encourage my writing. Please let me know your feedback, I'd love to hear what you all think.

Thank you all for reading!


	3. Ch 3 - Your Devotion is a Roof (Pt 1)

**Title:** Life Hurts, Love Heals

 **Author:** thatoneanimegirl2202

 **Characters/Pairing:** Shinji Hirako and Hiyori Sarugaki

 **Type:** Chapter 3, Part 1 in a collection of mini-stories (InProgress)

 **Genre:** Romance/Reflection

 **Word Count:** 1682

 **Rating:** K+ (Some content may not be suitable for young children)

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach, and it's entirety, belongs to Kubo Tite

 **Summary:** Shinji receives an alarming call early in the morning, leaving him silent. Hiyori is brought up to speed on everything that has happened the last month, since the battle with Aizen. HiyoriXShinji

 **Created on:** 09/13/16

 **Completed on:** 09/13/16

 **Chapter Last Revised On:** 09/14/16

Ok, so this is my very first time trying my hand at fanfiction, so go easy on me.

 ** _FYI, the italics are their inner thoughts (what they don't say out loud). Enjoy!_**

* * *

 **Chapter 3, Part 1 - Your Devotion is a Roof**

 _What You Treat with Devotion, Grows. -Anonymous_

 _**ring, ring** **ring, ring** **ring, ring**_

It's still dark outside as the blonde, ex-captain rolls over, blindly reaching around to find the cause of racket.

"Ugh," Shinji groaned as he finally located his phone, the small illuminating screen making him wince. Peaking at it with one eye open, he let out a sigh as the name of his caller came into focus.

"This better be good, Kisuke," he said, slightly irritated. "Me and my hangover aren't feeling much like chattin', especially at 5 in the morning."

He waited impatiently for the hat-and-clog wearing shopkeeper to respond. When a reply finally came through from the other end, his heart stopped.

"She woke up, Shinji," Urahara said, almost a whisper.

As the phone came crashing to the floor, echoing through the silence of night, he just continued to stare straight ahead.

"Hiyori," he breathed.

 **[4 HOURS EARLIER]**

The smell of antiseptics and bellflowers singed the inside of her nose, reminding her too much of a hospital. Her whole life Hiyori had hated those places. They made her think of sick people and death. Her eyes fluttered open, confirming her location.

 _Of all the places I could've died and gone to…_

She scanned the room, taking in her surroundings. A white curtain hung next to her bed, contrasting against the pale green walls. On her left sat a brown cabinet containing various bottles of multi-colored liquids of what she assumed was the smell that filled her nostrils. Littering the lower shelves were bandages, gloves, gauze, and a number of other medical utensils. She turned her attention to the other side, repelled by the hospital equipment. There, sitting alone in the windowsill, was a vase holding what looked like a white bellflower plant.

"Great," she exclaimed, laying her head back down on the pillow, still feeling slightly disoriented "I ended up in my own privatized hell."

No sooner than the words left her mouth, a young, dark-haired man whipped around the curtain, nearly causing her to fall out of the bed. His pale, blue eyes widened as he saw her awake and responsive.

"I-I'm sorry," he said, taking a slight step back.

He turned away, taking a phone from his pocket. After a few seconds he snapped the phone shut, turning back around to face her.

"Erm..huh, I'm pretty sure you have a few questions," he sputtered. "Unless you don't, then that's ok…unless you do..erm." He was looking downward, scratching the back of his head, not really seeming to know what he was trying to say. "I'm sorry," he said, continuing to not make eye contact.

 _What kind of messed up after life is this? Who is this weirdo? And why does he keep saying sorry?_

She wondered to herself just what was going on. That was until she finally noticed his attire, at least. He was wearing a white shitagi, black kosode and hakama, and a white obi. Standing out against what was obviously a Soul Reaper's shinakusho, was a green strap going across his chest and holding a small bag on his back.

Her eyes narrowed in on him, making him feel uneasy under her glare.

"Who the _hell_ are ya' and just what the _hell_ do ya' think yer doin' here?" she questioned, a slight growl in her voice.

"Oh, I'm…erm, I mean my name is…uh, haha..," he continued to sputter.

"Oh just spit it out already, will ya," Hiyori snapped.

"I'm sorry," he apologized again, jumping at her outburst. "I'm Hanataro Yamada, 7th seat of the 4th division." He continued to glance sheepishly at her, shifting under her scrutinizing glare. "I work here at Squad Four's relief station," he finished.

At the mention of the Gotei 13, her eyes widened and her scowl dissipated, leaving her with a confused look on her face. He could see her working through what he had just said, not taking very long for to reach a realization.

"I-I'm not dead, am I?" she asked cautiously.

He took a moment to answer, choosing his next words carefully. She still looked very frail, so he didn't want to overwhelm her with explanations.

"No," he stated, simply settling for a basic answer.

She sat there, unmoving, staring off into nowhere in particular as she began to wonder, "I don't understand. How's that even.."

"Possible?" another female voice seemed to finish her thought. She looked over at the woman who had just entered her room. She appeared to be another Soul Reaper, toting the usual black and white garbs, with the exception of a pink scarf tossed over her shoulders. "Perhaps I can answer that"

Hiyori stared at the tall woman as she slid a phone back into her robes.

 _That Hanataro kid must've messaged her earlier_ , she thought, recalling the phone he had out.

"My name is Rangiku Matsumoto, lieutenant of Squad Ten. And though you're not dead, you certainly came dangerously close," the woman said.

Not sharing Hanataro's conviction of over sharing, Rangiku went through the whole series of events with Aizen, not censoring any of it.

 _So that's how it all went down. Huh. I thought I was a goner for sure with how bad I was injured and the blood loss. The last thing I remember were those brown eyes starting at me…oh no, Shinji!_

She gasped, startling the other two Soul Reapers who now donned confused looks.

"What happened ta' Shin…I mean, what happened ta' the others. The ones like me," she asked, afraid to hear the answer. True, she was worried sick about her fellow visoreds, but at that moment all she could think about was Shinji and that look he had on his face as he held her in his arms. The look of dejection mixed with unfathomable rage.

 _Where the hell is that baldy? What'd he do?_

"They aren't here," Rangiku answered without pause. "The last I saw of them, the large man with pink hair was hovering over you, while the others looked on at the one who started fighting Aizen."

Hiyori stared ahead, anxiety covering her face, as she asked the question to which she already knew the answer. "Who was the one fightin' Aizen," she spoke, so softly that Rangiku almost couldn't hear it.

Rangiku thought for a second, recalling the visored's features. "He was the blonde one, with short hair. I believe he was the one who caught you before you fell," she replied, confirming Hiyori's assumption.

She closed her eyes and lowered her head. Crushed, she felt her heart begin to sink as she bit her lip to hold back the tears that were starting to form.

 _Shinji, ya dumbass. Why'd ya go and do somethin' stupid like that?_

Without looking up she said, "I'm guessin' it's optimistic-thinkin' ta' assume he kicked Aizen's ass, endin' it there?"

Rangiku and Hanataro exchanged looks.

"No. He didn't," the woman stated. "Aizen was too powerful, even at that level. He ended up overcoming your friend as well."

Hiyori felt a single tear trickle down her cheek, dropping onto her clenched fist.

Hanataro noticed the glistening streak on her cheek and then realized what just happened.

"Oh, no..no, no, no. He-he didn't die, Hiyori!" he said, louder than he meant to. "None of them did"

He hadn't thought about how all this would've sounded to someone who had been unconscious for the past month.

His face started growing red, as he became all too aware of them both staring at him. "I'm sorry, I-I should've spoke up sooner," he said timidly. "I didn't think about how it might have come across that way, erm..I mean…the ' _they died'_ kind of way."

He looked over at Rangiku, who was still staring at him and watched as her eyes slowly grew wider, understanding what he meant.

"Oh, yes, I suppose it did come across that way. I didn't even consider that," the woman said, looking back at Hiyori. She continued, matter-of-factly, "Ah, well yes. They survived and are in the living world now," oblivious to the increasing aggravation in the small visored's features.

Hiyori glared at the female Soul Reaper, ready to jump from the bed and kick her in her pretty face, despite still feeling pretty weak.

Hanataro cut in before she was able to act on her impulses.

"Rangiku doesn't really know the specifics beyond the fight itself. She vanished after that happened, so she wasn't there for the rest," he said, trying to defuse the situation. "Soon after he was struck down, Captain Unohana and myself showed up and began tending to the other members of your group. I tended to most of the other's wounds since he demanded Unohana treat you first."

 _Hmph, that idiot and his damn pride_. She scoffed, knowing all too well just how stubborn that man could be.

"Shortly after treating everyone's wounds, he immediately started asking questions about your condition," Hanataro continued, recalling what happened. "They all stayed by your side, until he felt lady Unohana had covered all bases. After that, you were brought back here to finish recovering. We've kept them notified of any changes and progress that occurred."

The woman then interjected before Hiyori could ask how they were being notified. "You recall meeting my Captain, Toshiro Hitsugaya? About your height, white hair, a permanent serious expression etched on his face? He sent me here, as a favor to Kisuke Urahara, to get weekly progress updates from Hanataro. I'm assuming any information I gave to the captain was then relayed to your group through Urahara."

 _So, that kid captain, Kisuke, these two…they all made such a fuss, huh?_ She smiled inwardly to herself.

"Well," Hiyori said at last. "I guess ya' better go ahead and check in with everyone then."

They all shared a small smile before the two Soul Reapers nodded and proceeded to head out, leaving her alone once again.

"I'm glad yer alive, baldy," she said as she laid back down and stared fondly at the flowers in the windowsill.

 _I can't wait to see that stupid look on your face._

* * *

This is chapter three of the mini-series which, when I originally wrote down the idea, wasn't going to be THIS long. In fact I had to separate it into two parts, because this part of the chapter was an improvisation to my original idea. I really liked the idea of a time-skip, however small, to show both Shinji and Hiyori's reaction to the same thing: Hiyori waking up. I also liked the idea of some of the other characters showing up (obviously the ones that made an impression one me, who weren't shown that as the main characters…sorta. Whatever, it works lol).

I used Hanataro bc he was easier to work with, plus Isane was still in Hueco Mundo when the stuff with Aizen went down. I used Matsumoto bc she doesn't do paperwork in the squad, plus I feel Toshiro would think this would help take her mind of Gin. I feel she is kinda oblivious to a lot, or how others take what she says, so through all her explaining to Hiyori she wasn't really paying too much attention to what she was saying, or how she was saying it rather. Urahara was chosen obviously bc of his closeness with the Visoreds and since he is her ex-captain.

I hope you enjoy my mind ramblings and I appreciate all reviews/criticisms….it helps to improve and encourage my writing. Please let me know your feedback, I'd love to hear what you all think.

Thank you all for reading!


	4. Ch 3 - Your Devotion is a Roof (Pt 2)

**Title:** Life Hurts, Love Heals

 **Author:** thatoneanimegirl2202

 **Characters/Pairing:** Shinji Hirako and Hiyori Sarugaki

 **Type:** Chapter 3, Part 2 in a collection of mini-stories (InProgress)

 **Genre:** Romance/Reflection

 **Word Count:** 1107

 **Rating:** K+ (Some content may not be suitable for young children)

 **Disclaimer:** Bleach, and it's entirety, belongs to Kubo Tite

 **Summary:** After learning that Hiyori has woken up, Shinji is conflicted on whether or not to go see her. Will Urahara be able to convince him to go?

 **Created on:** 10/30/16

 **Completed on:** 12/15/16

 **Chapter Last Revised On:** 12/28/16

Ok, so this is my very first time trying my hand at fanfiction, so go easy on me.

 ** _FYI, the italics are their inner thoughts (what they don't say out loud). Enjoy!_**

* * *

 ** _SHINJI_**

"Ya just…ya don't get it," Shinji mumbled, growing tired of this conversation.

"Oh, yes…you're right," Urahara replied, face deadpanned. "Watching as your friends go down in front of you, being too late to save them, feeling the burden of what happened weighing down on you, blaming yourself for it all. Yeah, I can't relate at all." He watched as the male visored continued to pace back and forth in his room, seemingly ignoring the sarcastic remark. "At any rate," he continued to speak to the restless ex-captain, "I still think it would be better if you joined them in going to see her tod…"

"I CAN'T, DAMNIT!" Shinji finally snapped out, louder than he intended.

Urahara remained seated, the outburst not surprising him.

Shinji ran his hands through his hair, taking a deep breath. He wasn't trying to take his stress out on his friend. He knew Urahara felt the same guilt for what happened. Truth be told, he was more frustrated with himself than the shopkeeper at this point. He sighed as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I'm sorry, Kisuke," he said after a few minutes, head still in his hands. He proceeded to run his hands down his face before letting them fall across his legs. He stared at the floor and continued to speak more calmly. "I know ya mean well. I just…I can't face her. I watched as she was damn near cut in half. I held her motionless body and just watched as her life was slowly being snuffed out. And I couldn't do a damn thing! All I'm good for is bringing tragedy down on them."

Urahara listened, not interrupting the visored as he continued on, recalling the events that took place a month ago.

"When we were all at the Seretei that night, it killed me to watch them fall because I wasn't able ta protect them. At the same time, I thought that I was going ta die as well. I was getting what I deserved for getting them into this mess," his eyes didn't move from the floor, as he continued talking in a low tone. "No one predicted ya would do what ya did. Ya gave us another chance at living, regardless of how restricted our lives became. We were still alive, they were still alive."

He finally raised his head, meeting the shopkeeper's gaze.

"We were indebted ta ya," Shinji said. "That is why this time is different. How am I supposed ta approach her? What am I supposed ta say? I wasn't able ta do anything, except watch the life seep out of her. As far as I knew, she was dead, killed again because of me. Only I wasn't going ta be able ta save her like you did us. Everyone is better off if I just stay away, because for over a century I've only gotten them hurt. I am nothing but a fucking magnet for disaster."

 _I am nothing._

Urahara contemplated what the distraught ex-captain said silently before pushing himself upright from the chair, and walked over to peer out the window.

"Would you consider it to be possible, for life to go perfectly," the shopkeeper asked, staring at the busy streets outside. "Has your life gone according to plan so far? A predictable or easy one? You became a soul reaper, knowing the worst could possibly happen, but you chose to face it anyway. No one's life every goes smoothly, Shinji, especially not one of a Soul Reaper. After what happened, there was no certainty that I could actually stop the hollowfication. Yet I took a chance and did what I could for the situation, just like you did that night Aizen betrayed us all. There was no certainty of what you were facing when you rushed to help here. No way of knowing how many, how strong, or fast the adversary was…yet you still stepped in and gave your all to the very end."

The green-cloaked man then turned to face Shinji.

"Life isn't ever perfect," he said. "There was no way of knowing what Hiyori would do, that Gin was waiting to strike on behalf of Aizen, or any of the other possible outcomes. But yet you threw yourself forward to help her however you could, which is more than you give yourself credit for. You threw yourself at Aizen, willing to offer up whatever time you could to Hiyori and the hope of a healer showing up, even if it meant giving up your own life. You were prepared to let yourself die in order to give her a chance at life."

He turned, walked forward and placed a hand on Shinji's shoulder. "Yet you're living as if she truly died, Shinji, just as you've done for the past century. You behave as if they had all died, and you alone survived. You've been a husk of your former self since that night, empty as the hollow that you fight to suppress. It was a very close call, what happened to her, but one thing did come from it. The moment that she lunged forward, you became filled with life, something you've been lacking over a hundred years. All because of her, you felt that you had purpose. Aizen didn't make her snap just because of what he did then, but because he killed your spirit all those years ago. We knew you had been carrying that burden alone, solely blaming yourself for what happened. She lunged at him, not just wanting revenge for herself, but for you. She almost died for you. The least you could do is try to live for her. She is alive, and it's about time you started acting like you are too. This deal with Aizen is done. It's time to put it behind you."

After a few seconds, Shinji stood up. "Alright," he sighed, looking at Urahara. "I'll go see her, I owe her that much. Don't want them ta think I don't care about everything that has happened. She probably isn't going to be very thrilled ta see me, with all the shit I've caused her ta go through. Bet you 10-ta-nothing I'm going ta end up getting hit."

He then proceeded towards the door, snatching up his gray trench coat on the way out. "See ya," he called back without turning around.

Urahara opened his fan, covering up the triumphant smile on his face.

 _Unohana said this would be a challenge_ , he thought to himself as he watched Shinji step through the Senkaimon. _But maybe they'll end up helping each other in the in the end._

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This is chapter three of the mini-series which, when I originally wrote down the idea, wasn't going to be THIS long. I originally thought I'd be able to break it into 2 parts, but alas it is now going to be 3 parts (I'm sorry *apologizes profusely*). As mentioned in the earlier chapter, this was part of a time-skip. This is going back to the present, which is Shinji after he learned that Hiyori had woken up.

Now Urahara is by far my favorite character, and I tried my damnedest to capture his cheekiness, but it is still lacking (it is writing after all, so not as much visualization put into it).

I also wanted to apologize for the BIG time gap in the continuation of the story, I have been super busy over the past weeks. Between moving, doctor's appts, and the works I haven't had as much time to devote to this story (which is why I'm glad I jotted down my ideas or else I probably would've forgotten where I wanted to go with this story).

I hope you enjoy my mind ramblings and I appreciate all reviews/criticisms….it helps to improve and encourage my writing. Please let me know your feedback, I'd love to hear what you all think.

Thank you all for reading!


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